You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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