his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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