Can Purell be used as lube?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
