we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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