She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
honey bunches of taint.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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