Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
