I wish I could teleport
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
