I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
