Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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