you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
