You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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