Don't make out with my wife yet
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is wine microwaveable?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
