you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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