I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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