Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
