I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
