dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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