I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
