So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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