she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
