My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
True strength comes from lack of pants
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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