Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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