in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
