you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
