I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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