I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
