Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
