these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
