Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
