it's like iHOP with fire
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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