Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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