There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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