You made me cry and you don't even care
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
