Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
