do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
