Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
