I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Come share oat with me in your robe
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
