Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
