Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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