Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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