I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
