I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
