U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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