i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
