Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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