I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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