I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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