Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
