are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
