I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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