After last night, I could never be a politician.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
