Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
